[aMarylandfamily]

We adopted a child out of a group home so do have some experience with the differences between group home and foster home ... Lucyjoy has tried to politely question why this child is placed in a group home noting the behaviors expressed wouldn't necessarily place in that level of care and she is correct here. BIG RED FLAG! (Sorry) All children are required to be placed in "the least level of care" until a high level is required - thus he didn't just get placed there. Also noted is he was only in one foster home - they do try a second and even a third before moving to group home as sometimes the environment is just not conducive to the child or to the parents with the child (hoping that makes sense) - ANOTHER RED FLAG - ONE FOSTER HOME DIRECTLY TO GROUP HOME!

The level of "incidents" reported from a foster family vs. group home staff environment (even a family group home that some states have) is miles apart - a touching incident may have occurred and been played down if more than one resident was involved in a group home whereas you would consider it severe if it occurred in your living room - even while horseplaying as kids do.

Not trying to chase you away from this child by any means - just make sure you have all the facts, don't take him without speaking to the staff at the group home and any other adult whose care he is in (teacher, counselor, baseball coach, etc.) and listen carefully beyond the sentence "he is a great kid" as he probably is but that doesn't mean the issues aren't more severe that what you are being told as they do want to get him placed. Make lists and determine if your home, your family, your other child, you as caretaker, you as couple and more can meet the needs which may seem simple to start but can easily escalate to the need of his current level of care.

Best wishes in your decision and know others have been here and done this - it isn't easy but important to not go beyond what your limits would be - if you take this child and something surfaces that you are going to immediately run from you will do him more harm returning him to another level of care than adoptive placement (and this I am speaking from hands on experience as we had to do for the safety of another child in our home!).

We understand, we care (and hope all this isn't too wordy) - thanks for listening if you read all the way to the bottom!