[BMTexas]

Originally Posted by RavenSong

I'm a little confused here. You say this was an open adoption, and you wrote letters and called on the telephone through the years

Did you talk to your daughter on those phone calls, or was it only the adoptive mom you talked with? Have you ever visited with your daughter before now?

You have to get a good idea what adoption is all about.
You have to back off and let them be the parents. If I was always trying to talk to B. it wouldn't have worked as well as it did. When your in any adoption you have to understand that THEY are the parents and we have to back off and let them make the rules and decide exactly what kind of contact they will allow.

I'm surprised that your daughter's mom didn't tell you to call back at a certain time, or have your daughter return the phone call. Writing a letter is fine, but do you think she'll really get it?

I don't think there would have been a problem with her letting me call her back. I decided instead that I would write a letter. That way I can think of things to say more easily. Sure, I think she'll get the letter.

It's so difficult to reunite with young adults, especially if they're still living at home. It's important to stay on good terms with her mom, IMHO. Be respectful, and treat her the way you want to be treated.

exactly


If your daughter is still indeed dependent upon her parents, and it sounds like she is since she's still living at home, I think you need to continue communicating with her parents. It'll take a while before they see that you're not a threat. Oftentimes reunion can make aparents feel like their world is about to be rocked upside down. You can make it easier on them by including them in your reunion. Just my two cents...

Thank you

Rhonda