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Originally Posted by tentmaker1040
We were talking yesterday and I told her I might be willing if there was a "stipulation"...adopt a child who's parents are deceased. She wants to adopt a 5 or 6 year old which actually makes it harder because they will already come with adjustment problems. They now have to adapt to new rules, routines, beliefs, friends...
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I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt but after this I think that others are right and you may not be ready for adoption. First off adopting a child with "stipulations" means that you are not loving them unconditionally which is one of the primary ingredients for a healthy adoptive relationship. Plus, Any child has to adapt to a new routine. Even if your wife gave birth to a baby the newborn has to adapt to new way of nurishment, new way of sleeping, breathing, has to relate to people. No matter what child you get or how you get that child some adjustments will have to be done. There are alot of children who dont have adjustment issues. Some do and some dont. It sounds to me that you are LOOKING for reasons not to adopt. I know you have valid concerns but I dont think it is really in your heart to expand your family through adoption.
Best of luck to you and your wife.
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Mr. Cris, married to a wonderful woman.
10/20/08- Orientation about Foster care and Adoption
11/1/08- Started MAPP Classes
1/31/09- Received MAPP Certificate of completion
3/17/09- Received background check clearance
5/27/09-Home study officially approved
6/29/09- Home Officially opened and on "THE LIST"
8/13/09- Received license in the mail
11/13/09-  rang regarding a 2 month old  and 2 year old  as possible matches
11/16/09- Paternal Family filed papers for custody of 2 year old  :sad:
11/17/09- Informed 2 month old actually a  and judge wants her placed in Pre-adoptive home ASAP
11/23/09- Told Foster Mom wants to try keep 2 month old. Waiting for Law guardian decision
Patiently waiting to hear more
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