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Welcome! We adopted our daughter at birth 13 months ago. The preparation for the adoption was long and sometimes frustrating, but ultimately worth it in the end. Our DD is our first child, so we were "newbies" as well.
We did a TON of research before making any significant steps. Adoption.com was a great resource, and you might be pleasantly surprised at how well you'll fit in here, even though most members are women. I've been fully accepted, and my opinions respected.
Our situation is a bit different, since we are a 2-dad family, but navigating the system as men was still challenging at times. We spent a long time on this forum, reading and learning about the perspectives of all involved in the adoption triad (adoptive parents, birthparents, adoptees). Myths were shattered, notions affirmed, and much learning took place.
We also joined a few online Yahoo! adoption groups, and it was through one of these that we found our agency. We also found our social worker through one of these groups (on recommendations), as well as our daughter's present pediatrician.
Many women on this forum have said that they are the ones who took the initiative in preparing for the adoption; I can't say if that is the same in your situation. But try to stay involved at all stages, if possible. It's always easier if only one person handles the legwork, but the satisfaction with the outcome will be greater if you both stay involved.
Most of the emotional work, surprisingly, comes after the adoption, and not in just caring for your child. Navigating an open adoption (if that is what you end up opting for) has many aspects and can be exhilarating, frustrating, confusing, satisfying...you name it, that describes it. Learn as much as you can about OA before you adopt, and do so for yourselves, rather than allowing your agency to educate you. It's not all roses, as is often portrayed, but not having one can be just as painful for some. It's all about your child, after all.
Let me know if you have any specific questions, and good luck on your journey.
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Doc & Doting Dad
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