[t_bdrax]

Thank you for bringing the issue of PAD to my attention. We brought our son (he is our first) home Feb. 7. For me I was not head over heels smitten, but I like him and he is a good boy (2yrs old) and we were alway told to "fake it until you make it". For the past month my wife and I have been working on bonding. During the last week I have been finding myself drained out, I have stared at him a coulpe of times, unable to deal with him emotionally. The last few days I have had what I think are anxiety attacks where I dwell on 'what have I gotten myself into?' 'I cannot handle this' 'I want my old life back'. Today I cried a couple of times. I'm 43 and you would think I could grow up enough to be a parent. My wife is understanding to a point and knows we have a real problem. I may call my social worker today but I probably shouldn't bug her until Monday. This is great, I have to go back to work Monday and start earning a paycheck again. Writing this has started another panic attack, but thank you for letting me know that there are people here to share with.