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I think you need to see if you can talk with the previous foster parents. How long was he with them? Is his sibling still with them or in the group home? How long has he been in the group home? What medications is he on? Are you prepared to do 24/7 line of sight supervision? Will your kids be sharing a bedroom or have separate bedrooms? Is your son small for his age and the foster child big for his age?
They don't normally put kids in group homes that can succeed in foster or therapeutic foster homes. But I know a lot of people that have taken a chance on kids from group homes and were successful, but they had previous experience handling kids with special needs or had a lot of services set up to help with the transition.
If you do bring this child in your home (and Im going through something very similar right now) then the kids shouldn't be alone ina room together anywhere. If you need to go to the bathroom, then someone needs to go to a safe place til you get out -- UNTIL you have all built the trust needed to allow it. Also, you will need to ensure your son has the good/bad touch conversation and is comfortable coming to you to discuss it.
I don't have a strong feeling either way about the birth order, as younger kids in foster care can be bigger/stronger and have more street knowledge than older biological kids and still do something to them. I just think you need to do what is right in terms of a fit for your family.
And just because you were matched with the child, doesn't mean it is the right fit. You need to decide that.
Keep us posted on what you do...good luck with your decision.
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