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I have felt the same way you do.
Our sibling group (they are 14 and 15 years old) will be with us for two years next month. That first year was really tough. We don't have children and I really didn't know what to expect but I knew that I should be feeling a much more unconditional love towards them and I just couldn't do it.
Now, two years later things have gotten much better. I've learned to pick my battles and celebrate the little milestones that happen. I try to not take their behavior personally (though that is hard to do). What has really help me when things are bad is to step back and imagine what it must be like to be my kids - with everything they have been through. It makes me have more empathy towards them.
It did not happen overnight but now I see us as a family. There is a bond there and I feel more like their mom by wanting to love and protect them.
I could have written your post a year ago. I felt the same way.
Sending hugs your way...
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