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Originally Posted by tentmaker1040
BRAVO!!! I totally appulad you...
See everyone? Here's someone who called their kids out on it "How would you feel if I called my bio kids my 'real kids'...kudos
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I think you'll find a lot of parents who adopt deal with this statement from time to time. You'll also find that they discuss the issue with their child. No one here is denying that statement gets said or that it hurts. What they are trying to tell you is that being a parent is not always easy, there are no guarantees and that is true regardless if you adopt or not.
Parenting means loving your child even when they hurt you. Doesn't mean "Oh, my child can call me whatever they want and I'll be just fine". It means "Dang that hurt, this stinks, I'm angry etc. but I still love my child".
They are also trying to tell you if you have such stipulations and expectations, then you really need to consider this strongly and find ways to further educate yourself about adoption in general. Read some of the books suggested to you and see what you think after that.
I do think with your stipulations and mind set, you are not the right parent for an older child at all. Maybe an infant adoption if you can get past the "Real" thing, and . But please do not adopt an older child as I don't think you are a strong enough person to handle it. JMO.