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Not gonna be much help here. Sounds like you are doing all you can.
One other thing I do is ignore DS until he asks nice. For instance, if he is having a fit because he wants to play with a certain toy I tell him that he has to ask nice, no whining, no crying. It helps. At least he knows how he is supposed to ask.
When I get frustrated, I remind myself that he is doing the best he can.
I know its exhausting sometimes. And I hate feeling like I am the mean mom (and dad is the nice dad). All you can do it try your best and pick your battles.
Hang in there. This too shall pass.
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