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It sounds like you aren't ready to adopt. This may not be a popular statement, but the truth is that even death can't erase the fact that the child was belonged to another mom and dad. Each person is different in their need or desire to find and have contact with their roots. You can't predict how it will be in 17 years but you really can't do that even if you give birth to a child.
Research adoption if you think you want to adopt. If you think you don't, then you are probably right.
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