[Janeytwo]

Dear PollyPocket,

I have twisted in the wind over whether to post this publicly to you but this is too important not to (IMO).

Look, except for a brief second in this forum when I sort of lost my mind, I have never been against adoption and I'm still not. No, I don't like the way adoption is being handled these days but that is for younger folk like yourself and others to change and I believe that you all will. I firmly believe that.

But there is much that your generation can learn from mine. What I say to you next, I do not say in judgement of your or your motives. I do not say with hate in my heart. I say it only in kindness and concern for you:



Straight up....no bull....you must do what is right for you. I respect that. I truly do. But do not.....DO NOT....tell yourself that you can make this decision and then simply go on with your life. I don't mean that to sound presumptious or aggresive.

Just.....Please....don't put yourself through that, Polly, because it can't be done. I'm as sure as I can be that women from my era...down to every last one of us...would be willing to testify to that. It can't be done.

Whatever action you take, get counseling for yourself. Not just before your baby's born and not just for a month or so afterward. Stick with it and keep talking. Keep talking. KEEP TALKING. Do not let the silence of denial and despair get hold of you and dictate what your life will become. Because that is what will happen and it will happen without your even realizing it.

Please believe me that I know from where I speak. I am a double surrenderer.

The women from the Closed Era...my era...I peronsally think our message is being lost in the politics of the day. But the message is an important one. Don't walk away from that courthouse and then walk away from yourself.

Yes....I understand the need to put the heart aside and let the mind rule in making such decisions. I understand the need to grit one's teeth and make the leap of faith it takes to relinquish a child. It takes sheer force of will to decide to do so.

I also know though the price we pay when we try to set such a wounded part of our own existence aside.

As a woman from the Closed Era, I NEVER want to see any other young woman put herself through such pain. No birthfather either.

Again, I respect your decision and your need to make. You'll get no judgement from me on that. I'm nobody to judge to start with.

I am only asking that you take care of yourself so that you can live your life without crippling regret.

Thank you for listening to this. I hope I haven't angered you. That wasn't my intent.

Much peace your way always,