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I am not an adoptive mother but do have a child that has learning disabilities, 4 of my 5 kids have had language problems and I didn't use drugs when pregnant. there is a family history on hubby side of learning disabilities and I suspect mine too.
Maybe you could try to relate the language problems to something else ie.family history instead of the drugs they were exposed too it could diffuse some of the anger. Just something they were born with, something that could happen to anyone wheather bio or not.
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