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I was just as torn as the posts above. My birth mother refused to discuss anything with me, even my birth father's name (turned out she NAMED me for him!) So I found him as well. My advice - gather support and strength from those around you, and go ahead as soon as you are able.
By the time I found my birth parents, a half sister on each side had already died of cancer. I just missed one by a matter of weeks. I still have a half brother on each side; I have written to my paternal one and not heard back yet; I have given up on my mother so as soon as I can find contact information I will contact my maternal half brother as well.
I have decided to not let my birth parents' inability to deal with their loss become my inability as well - I've spent most of my life fearing hurting someone emotionally and finally have decided my pain is no less than theirs. Besides, I have children of my own and they deserve to know their heritage as well.
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