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Originally Posted by tentmaker1040
My wife wants to adopt, and I am hesitant. Before everyone throws something at me, let me explain. I had some friend who adopted. They raised the child, put them through school, feed them, etc. The ungrateful teenager now says "I want to find my REAL parents. They were heartbroken. They said we have no problems with you want to find your parents, but what is this REAL B.S. Just because 2 people had sex doesn't make them REAL parents. Real parents are the ones that sit up with you till 4 am because you are sick, who help you with your homework, etc. What are we, just place holders. The respnse was worse.."Yes you did all that, but you still aren't my real parents  |
First off, welcome to the forums.
Secondly, I've worked with teenagers as a youth pastor for almost two decades. I know that they will say alot of things when they are angry. If I were in your friend's shoes, I would choose to explore their kiddo's feelings and get to the root of the problem rather than assume that he/she just wants to get away from the family that raised them. The issues may or may not be related to this child's adoption. The teen years are rough on everyone.
Lastly, I would challenge you not to make your decision based solely on the parenting experience of a friend. Your experience and your child would be unique regardless of how they came into your life. If you don't want to adopt, find your own reasons for it. My experience has given me a healthy fear of the teenage years. I have spent alot of time helping families through crisis and now am hoping with all I got that I'll be able to actually get through it with my own kids. Fortunately for all of us, we have a few more years to prepare for that time, and we're doing the work to do that.
I hope things work out for your family, whatever you choose.