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I agree with the other posters when they say that teenagers say hurtful things when they are mad.
However, I do think you need to understand that an adopted child's need to find their birth parents is not a matter of them being "ungrateful" as it is not an adopted child's job to be grateful to you for loving them. Your love should be expected, not appreciated in a way where they need to feel grateful for being adopted. You need to understand that although you may adopt a child and love them and be the best parents in the world, there is a high chance that child will want to connect with their birth family in the future. That does not say anything about YOU. All that says is that your child wants to find out who they really are as far as genetics go. I know that if I were adopted, I would totally want to find my birth family. And it would not be for the reason of replacing my parents, but because I would just NEED to know what my bio family looks like and acts like and I would really want to know my story. Like why I was placed for adoption.
I think that children who are adopted by people who are NOT afraid of this and who are loving and open and supportive, are the ones who will be the closest to their children. Adopted children should not made to feel like they have to choose between their adoptive parents and their bio family. It's not fair.
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