Teenagers are a tough group...they usually don't use politcally correct terminology, such as "positive adoption language". While most people in the adoption community are accustomed to using the term "birth parents" for family of origin, teenagers often just call them "real parents" when speaking amongst themselves. I don't think it's necessarily a case of the kid not feeling appreciative of the wonderful upbringing he's enjoyed. I think it's probably just a case of not using the "correct" terms for his birth parents.
Teenagers are also notorious for saying things like "you're not my real parents" in the heat of anger. It really doesn't mean anything...really. My two best friends when I was a kid were both adoptees. One of them always lashed out at her mom whenever she was mad, saying she didn't have to listen because she "wasn't her real mother anyway". Her mom used to just shake her head and ignore her. Believe me, Teri never meant those words, not in her heart. She became extremely close to her mom in adulthood, taking care of her in her old age.
LOL, whenever I got into an argument with my mom as a teenager, I used to say, "why didn't you just give me up for adoption when I was born?" Or I'd say, "I wish I was adopted!" Kids say hurtful things when they get angry.
Are there any other reasons besides your friends' experience that are making you hesitant to adopt? There's a wealth of information on this website about all aspects of adoption. There are also tons of books available these days. I'm sure some of the adoptive parents on this board would be more than glad to suggest some titles for you to read.
