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I agree with simply starting to make comments about her birth family, or the day the judge made us a family...
Or you can exclaim in a hug about how happy you were that bmom chose us to be your parents.
Then the seeds are planted, and there never is a "discussion" per se. Just questions being answered naturally just like you would about things like dinosaur bones and skies being blue...it's another new thing to learn about.
Plant the seeds of questions by making comments...when she speaks of someone elses adoption or first family, go on to tell her some small thing about her birth family as well....she'll get it without ever needing to be told....and she may assume already that ALL babies are adopted.
I know my dd is wierded out that her friends only have one mom, and they don't have a birth mom like she does....
My dd was 3.5 when we adopted her, so she KNEW it was happening and went through it, and totally remembers everything mostly.
Be sure not to perpetuate any adoption stereotypes. Don't say it if it isn't true. My dd has had to deal with the idea that her mom didn't want to be a parent anymore and found a new family for her.
Not every bmom has the same reasons for placing. Be sure of those reasons before attempting to explain them. It's ok to say that you don't know.
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