[mgood2go]

We never suffered such severe threats from our toddlers. But, they would not have been able to find such harsh words at their young age when we went through our darkest times. It seemed at times there could be no time when they would share our love for them - not for us, but for themselves. I don't know if 911 can help in a threat, or how your counsilor is helping. For us we used holding therapy - Mommy and Daddy time. Painful hours were spent ahead of other priorities, with them screaming and writhing in our laps. As hard as it was, our Motto (source lost, sorry) was PLACE - Playful, Loving, Accepting, Compassionate, and Empathetic.

Mom won over love first, it took me nearly 3 tears to reach my daughter. Now she feels loved, and can respond in her own heart.

What kept me pushing through was that there was no other real option. We could not pass our children on in any realistic way. So, they were ours to deal with and they had to relearn that they could be loved unconditionally like most children are. This simple concept is beyond the grasp of a child that lost their formative age with loving parents. Relearning it - or learning it for the first time - past these formative years can only be done in the slowest trickle. It can only be done if it is true from morning to night and every time you lose your cool and every time you find it back and apologize. While restraining your child in your lap from hitting, kicking, and biting, you have to tell them how it is okay that they hate you because you have enough love for both of you. Remember there are years of unquestioned love that you are doing your feeble best to replace.

I would love to say it will only take 3 years. It may be 911 or a cousilor finds a solution first. There are no guarantees, but there are no other options except to try. But, for the last week, my daughter gave me sincere hugs in situations I had given up hope of experiencing, and this reward can't compare to anything i've experienced. Not because my love as her parent was requited. But, because I see what this has done for her own self respect.

I faith gives you hope, by all means pray. But, do not give up on loving your child.