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I will leave my 12 year old home alone when he so chooses - he generally has the option of going where we are going...but I won't force him. He does also become the 'sitter' for his siblings when DH and I have an evening out. Often we are with our neighbors so their DD and DS come over and they all hang out. DS2 is getting ready to turn 11 and he's not totally ready. Although I did leave he and DD home for 30 minutes the other evening while I ran DS1 to a practice to conduct a little team manager business. You can't imagine how proud he was when I got home. For that reason alone - I feel it's important to let them know that I believe in them! DD...another story...
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