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AAAH. Somehow I deleted my long post. Here I go again...
Rredhead, I initially felt some of the posts were pretty negative, but thought I was just sensitive since they were directed towards me. That, and I was in a stressful situation at the time. Now when I read them, I can see that each person is writing based on their own history.
I do not think that the birth moms here are 100% representational of all birthmoms and specifically, not the birth mom in our match.
We have never promised anything we are not willing to deliver and have been open and honest in our letter and on the phone. I cannot say the same for her. Turns out she lied about the birthfather. She listed the birthfather of her older children instead. There are other less significant things she has not been truthful about and she has admitted to a gun charge in addition to the jail time for fraud she previously disclosed.
Can she change? Sure, I am not really worried about past jail time at this point. But, I am concerned re: her lack of truthfulness in something as important as naming the birthfather.
With all that said, we have shared our full names and phone number. I think she has a lot of positive qualities and I respect her reasons for choosing not to parent this child. The baby is not due until July, I hope we can develop a relationship that is more open and trusting.
Again, thanks for giving me insight from all perspectives on this adoption journey. It is so much more complicated than I ever imagined, but I am here to learn.
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