[Mockingbird]

When my daughter was born 10 years after my son who was relinquished to adoption, I was amazed that they actually handed her to me in the hospital and terrified that they would realize their mistake and take her away from me. When we were released and my husband brought the car around I put her into her car seat, jumped in and slammed the door and said "Go! Go! Go!". I felt like we were in a getaway car--I even looked back to see if anyone was running out after us. With my second daughter, I was more confident until, after sending my husband down to sign papers and get the car, a doctor came in and told me that they would have to keep my daughter because there was something wrong. Wow, Did I start to freak out! I was absolutely frantic. As it turned out, a nurse had been doing a procedure wrong, thusly skewing the results. My daughter was fine--but once again, I felt like we had her in the getaway car. I have always been an overprotective mother; I like to have my children around so that I know they are ok (I also enjoy their company). Yes, I'm sure a lot of it stems from the fact that I never got to see my son at his birth, and then had to leave with empty arms, never knowing if he was ok. After being able to hold subsequent children in my arms and feel that overwhelming rush of love, I knew that my son and I both missed having that.