When we first got these kids, the girls were close and protective of each other. Then they went home for 3 weeks. The mom doesn't like the younger girl and really makes it obvious. Statements like "R isn't cute, why do people say she's cute?" and "Look at that face! She isn't cute at all." or "L is pretty but not R." (all made while L and R are standing right there!!) Gifts or lots of clothes are purchased for the older one but not the younger one. The younger one is plainly ignored.
So now that the kids are back, the older girl is outright hateful to her sister! I am constantly on her for something ugly she said or did. Yesterday for instance, I was going to run to the grocery store for a minute while dh was home, L asked to go with me and since R wasn't around I said okay. She immediately found her sister and proceeded to make a huge deal about her getting to go but R has to stay, which made R cry. I told her how mean that was to hurt her little sister and do something to make her sad on purpose. As discipline, L had to stay home this time, and I took R instead. That really threw her for a loop! She's not used to seeing someone stand up for R!
Am I on the right track? What would you suggest I do to help restore a bond between sisters?