First, please let us all know if you guys are ok.
I hope you ignored the SW and sought help for your daughter & yourselves.
I've been thru the scenario you describe with 3 kids now, and it is very tough, but also incredibly important to respond to these types of threats with safety as the number 1 concern at all times. That means most likely that she truly needs to be hospitalized.
Threats like this can be used to initiate immediate hospitalization in a facility that can keep her safe. At a minimum, they can keep her for 24 hrs for making the threat.
I WOULD NOT attempt to drive a child in this state to the facility myself - it may not be safe, for you or for her. I strongly recommend 911 and an ambulance ride.
As a parent, the best thing you can do for her behind the scenes is work to get her into the best placement you can, visit her as often as they allow (may only be a couple of times a week), and emphasize to her throughout that you love her and that families who care must ensure everyone is safe from harm, and that you want her home when she is able to be safe for herself and the family. (EVEN if you don't feel this at all, and trust me, I did not at the time either, due to being so burned out & stressed. I was thankful they were in the hospital getting help so I did not have to be hypervigilant for a little while).
3 years later, things are much better, but I will say, those times were pure h*ll - but there is hope, even if you cannot feel it now. The hardest part is that they act out when they start to feel SAFE and attached - it means that she is actually feeling safe enough to act out.
My heart goes out to you.
