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Okay, fire your therapist. When this child threatens suicide or homicide, dial 911. Take her either to the ER or the psych ward. Her threats should get her an admit at least buying you a little time to breathe. She may need to live away from home for awhile.
One child cannot be allowed to implode an entire family. Home may not be the place for her to live. She can't heal when she is doing these thing to all of you and you can't live in a war zone.
And I'd take her threats seriously.
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WELL-BEHAVED WOMEN RARELY MAKE HISTORY 
charred witch
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