I'm so sorry-I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to want only the best for your son and not be able to help him. As I was reading your post, the thought going through my head was this... that's not RAD (reactive attachment disorder), that's FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome). As I read the comments, it sounds like that's exactly what other posters thought as well. Here's a website that I was looking at just before your post. It might help you to understand your son a little better. Best wishes!
http://www.tchpeducation.com/homestu...as_2006web.pdf