[austin0i]

Hi Mockingbird,

Since I am an adoptee ( in reunion 18 months ) I will offer some thoughts and a little advice. My reunion sounds like yours....frequent contact that has tappered off.

I have also pulled back a little from my bio-mom, but I am sure my reasons are different from your sons. I was hurting because of some stuff with my bio-mom. I needed the space to stop the hurting.

I do think your son is pulling back, but why he is doing it, I don't know.

I can tell you, I do have specific reasons for creating distance, but they are specific to my story.

Also, I do have advice about this:

Originally Posted by Mockingbird

I don't know whether to keep calling or back off and wait--but then I worry that he may feel like I don't care about talking to him.

I would not back off. That signals your ability to leave is still there. I would stay with him, with short notes through email, letting his know you are there. Just hang with him. He is pulling back to protect himself in some way, but why I can't say. I don't know your story

Dont leave him though, as that reinforces the "she's left before...she can do it again" thinking

I can tell you that even though I have had to put a little distance between myself and my bio-mom, I do still love her and always will.

I hope I helped, even in a small way

Kim