Hey LMK94,
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Can anyone give me insight as to why a birthmother would not want to know her birthchild, knowing that the adoptive family loves her (birthmother) and would welcome her into this child's life?
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I agree with the others that the husband may have a great deal to do with it. Plus with a mother like she has, the bmom may be feeling tremendous pressure from all sides. She may fear that people could turn on her and she might lose her 2nd child. Though this may not be a reality, but in my mind at least that fear was always there with my youngest daughter who happens to be your daughter's age.
Also, you might be right that your daughter reminds the bmom of past pain, but that is the bmom's problem and not yours or your daughter's to have to own. ((( LMK94 )))
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I have second guessed the therapist and myself on telling her, but I can't undo that.
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On the contrary, I laud you for having the courage to be honest. And I would submit that your daughter is the "resilient" and "well-fuctioning" girl she is because she knows she can trust you to be truthful with her. IMO, that is so very important to children.
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My hub and I love her with all our soul, but we can't fill the emptiness she has, no matter how hard we try...thanks
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Dear LMK94 - I know it's hard but try not to do this too yourself. You and your hubby are every bit as much your daughter's parents as the woman who gave birth to her (and I'm a bmom saying that too you). You are right, no one can live our individual struggles for us. There are demons we all must face within ourselves. But the fact that you are there to hold your daughter's hand, to be truthful with her and to stand side-by-side with her through her difficulties PROVES that you are her parents.
All God's peace your way today!
