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Personally, I think your hunch that her reluctance has something to do with her current husband is probably what's going on here. She could be feeling caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak. Maybe the husband intimidates her?
When I reunited with my son back in 1990, his birthfather kept putting off meeting him. The main problem was bdad's wife...she threatened to leave him and take the kids. When he did meet our son, it was done without his wife's knowledge.
If I were you, I would sit down and write her a letter (not email). Outline your concerns, and remind her how much your daughter needs some type of contact. Be friendly, and talk to her woman to woman, mother to mother.
Good luck - I know how much this situation has been bothering you lately. I hope bmom gets her act together for the good of your daughter.
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 ~~Raven~~
What does not kill me, makes me stronger. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols, 1888, German Philosopher (1844-1900)
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