[LoveMyKids94]

My precious daughter is adopted and we were supposed to have an open adoption, but the birthmother closed it with no explanation. I suspect her new hub may have had something to do with it--he is the father of her other child (one that she did not relinquish), however I'm not sure he is the issue. My sweet daughter is bi-racial and the birthmother's MOTHER was horribly prejudice, refusing to help her at all with the child if she kept her and pushing her to choose adoption. My daughter was two when her birthmother sort of disappeared and we couldn't find her.

Recently, as a healthy and developmentally normal 12 year old, N. has confided in me that she has a missing part inside of her because of her b-mom. I went online and it took a few months, but I found her. I had an intermediary call, but she wouldn't come to the phone. She knows how to contact me and knows that "our" daughter needs her. It's been a month and I haven't heard anything from her. Since I never lie to my daughter, and we are in therapy over this issue, I told her the truth about finding the b-mom, and that, for some reason, she was not ready to talk yet. I have second guessed the therapist and myself on telling her, but I can't undo that. My daughter is very resilient and is functioning well, in spite of all the new info she has, but I know it's weighing down her heart. Can anyone give me insight as to why a birthmother would not want to know her birthchild, knowing that the adoptive family loves her (birthmother) and would welcome her into this child's life? I am so hurt and sad for my daughter. I just would like to have a little peace of mind by hearing possibilities. I'm thinking maybe she was taken by surprise and simply isn't ready. Also, the birthfather (who's family we tried to contact too) is in jail and they did not part on good terms. Could she remind her of him? She is a wonderful child. She looks a lot like her birthmother and she'd be proud of her too. And, as much as I wish it had been me, I was not the one who conceived N. My hub and I love her with all our soul, but we can't fill the emptiness she has, no matter how hard we try...thanks.