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Janey,
I'm SO sorry that you're having a hard time with this...
I know the darkness, and your mind telling you things that aren't right-- for whatever reason.
I also have been battling the dark side-
for about a week now...
but I've had problems with depression since I was a kid-
and the relinquishment of my son was so exquisitely painful for so long--- it still amazes me I got through it.
Someone on another board DID find my son for me last Saturday--
and i have been a mess ever since..
i am on one hand relieved and thrilled that he's alive and well...
but the other emotions--
the ones that i buried
but never dealt with are the ones that are attacking me with a vengeance.....
I totally get where you're coming from,
and all the spaciness that comes along with it---
i wish I had something profound or helpful to say-
I don't but I thought it may help to know you're not alone.....
after reading this thread,
I know I'm not- and it helps....
Hugs!!!
Kerri
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