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First off (((HUGS))) I have been where you are. Here is a list of symptoms of a child with RAD (reactive attachment disorder) see if your DD has these. If so check which ones and make sure to take the list to her therapist.
Symptoms of RAD in Children
Superficially charming and engaging, particularly around strangers or those who they feel they can manipulate
Indiscriminate affection, often to strangers; but not affectionate on parent’s terms
Problems making eye contact, except when angry or lying
A severe need to control everything and everyone; worsens as the child gets older
Hypervigilant
Hyperactive, yet lazy in performing tasks
Argumentative, often over silly or insignificant things
Frequent tantrums or rage, often over trivial issues
Demanding or clingy, often at inappropriate times
Trouble understanding cause and effect
Poor impulse control
Lacks morals, values, and spiritual faith
Little or no empathy; often have not developed a conscience
Cruelty to animals
Lying for no apparent reason
False allegations of abuse
Destructive to property or self
Stealing
Constant chatter; nonsense questions
Abnormal speech patterns; uninterested in learning communication skills
Developmental / Learning delays
Fascination with fire, blood and gore, weapons, evil; will usually make the bad choice
Problems with food; either hoarding it or refusing to eat
Concerned with details, but ignoring the main issues
Few or no long term friends; tend to be loners
Attitude of entitlement and self-importance
Sneaks things without permission even if he could have had them by asking
Triangulation of adults; pitting one against the other
A darkness behind the eyes when raging
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