|
I am the wife of an adoptee as well. My sweet man wants to know whatever he can, and now, we have a grandbaby, born with a heart condition and we need medical history.
I LOVE to do research of any kind, so I asked him if he wanted me to try to find out. He said that it was up to me. At 42, he wants to know who she is. So I began my research. A few days ago I came up with a lead. I called him and asked, if I find someone who might be her, would you like for me to contact her? He answer was yes. He isn't sure how he would begin the conversation. He can't promise not to be angry. He NEEDED me to be the buffer.
There was no answer at the other end of the telephone that day, so I wrote a letter. It hasn't been answered yet.
Today we spoke to the judge who has agreed to approve opening the sealed file. Then we will continue the research from there.
So as for your question, it is up to your husband. Don't push, don't pull, just ask him what he wants. Some people need a buffer who is a stranger, some people need a buffer who is close, some people need to make contact themselves.
Understand that the reality of rejection will always be there until contact is made. Let him move forward in his own time.
I'm here if you need to talk.
|