[marythemom]

I thought I was so prepared. I have a social work degree, took all the trainings - twice, had raised a "spirited" biochild and survived, was a "spirited" child myself, had biofamily that are bipolar...

We were told these kids had mild issues and just needed love. (RAD, ODD, severe PTSD, ADHD, bipolar disorder... but we didn't know all of that at the time). That's the hard part with your 3 year old is that he has these symptoms and trauma, but no one believes little children can have diagnoses - therefore it must be your fault.

I started on anti-anxiety medication (then anti-depressants and now mood stabilizers for my recently diagnosed bipolar disorder). I found support groups like this one and the special needs forum. I found attachment therapist, I read tons of books on attachment, I started a blog so I could vent without overwhelming my friends. I'd say get sleep and exercise and take care of yourself, but that would be hypocritical of me (still great advice though).

Mostly I tried to surround myself with people who "get it." People who know this is going to be hard and give advice and support that might work.

I would not finalize this adoption until you know this child is right for your family. Hang in there and try, but realize that it has to be a good match.

Remember that he is terrified and dealing with life as best he can. You did not make him this way! You may not be the right person for THIS child to help him.

I heard once from a CPR instructor to remember when you do CPR the person is already dead. You did not kill him. All you can do is your best.

Hugs and prayers,