[JPDakota]

Janey,
When I went back to your original post, the first thing I thought about was a kind of survivors' guilt. Please bear in mind, I am a complete outsider in your world. But you know, I've talked to a lot of veterans who have said things to me about should *insert horrible thing here* have taken me too? If I were worthy or respectable or had courage, then I would be dead now." (Paraphrasing, of course) And I'm kind of wondering if what you're talking about isn't kind of similar. My Dad often spoke of the internal pressure we put on ourselves based on how we were raised, what our contemporaries thought, how our minds work, how we see ourselves in the world really. I guess I don't know if that is really societal pressure but something deeper and far harder to resolve.
I don't know. Like I said, I'm not from your world. It just sort of struck me. Forgive me if I'm out of bounds.