I agree about the insanity that some bar/bat mitvahs have become. We went to one last year that called (are you sitting down) "Oscar attire". It was held in the local Aquarium. The food was unbelievable. They bussed the kids from the synagogue (over an hour away) to the venue and back. They had someone there doing photos and then putting them in keychains, on shirts, whatever you wanted. They had a DJ & a band. It was just insane.
I asked the father what he was going to do for her Sweet 16 and her wedding.
I don't want to even think of what the "Jones" will be doing in 10 years.
No way would we ever be able to afford to do a crazy part - no way we'd want to either.
Mozel Tov again!