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Hear hear shadow riderer.
I know the person who said to me 'I could NEVER let anyone else raise my child' was in the midst of a crisis, she was debating aborting her third child who had been much wanted until her husband decided to leave her...I felt like saying, 'I could never consider doing what you're considering' but I didn't. I just let her say her thing and tried to let it wash over me...she was comparing our situations and they were nothing alike.
There is sort of an odd thing here. I was an extremely depressed teenager. I was a cutter and no one knew about it. Getting pregnant saved me in a way. I wanted to be stronger for my son.
And TGmom, I don't think you're weird or any less of a birth mother because of how you feel! I actually relate to it. I felt SO STRONGLY that I did the right thing. I guess in some ways I still do. I wish I'd had other options presented to me. I really wish I'd had counseling.
Personally, I didn't really feel real grief until reunion. I don't know if it's because I finally allowed myself to? Or if i finally realised what I'd missed, that I'd never have the relationship with my son that I'd love to have. It's ok though. I'll find another kind of relationship to have with him and love that.
I'm so sad for those women who reached such depths of despair that they feel they can't go on. I hope they found the help they needed to pull out of that.
But Janey, just because you don't and haven't felt that low doesn't make you any less. KWIM?
Another point. I have two small girls I'm raising now. Can I tell you how many times I find that job nearly impossible to do? Can I tell you how many times I feel like it isn't the job for me? But I struggle through. I love them fiercely, I just try to do the best I can and keep on my game face for the public.
love you all ladies!
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