[jalapeno]

I often tell my family stories with photos. I've got a ton of them on the wall and I have a small photo album devoted to each child that has pictures going back to when they were newborns (I keep those albums in with their other books). And everyday I spend a little time telling family stories. If I see my daughter looking at a photo on the wall, I'll say something about it - "oh, that's your Grandma when she was just a little girl!" and I'll tell a story about Grandma. And the adoption stuff fits into that. Today I was sitting at my desk with my DS (20 months old) and he pointed to a picture. It was a picture of the family taken outside the courthouse when his sister was adopted. So I told him a brief story about that day. Of course he doesn't understand the word "adoption" as a 20 month old. But I think understanding will gradually come as I keep talking to my kids. And as they get older, I'll add more and more to their stories. My MIL is also putting together a book for each child that tells a short story of how they came to be in the family. They aren't just about adoption but of course that's mentioned. And those will go on the shelf with the other kids books. So the story is available to the kids whenever they want it. And DH and I will read those books to them and continue talking to them in little bits about our family, our past, their past. I think they need to know the subject of their adoption is like any other piece of our family history. It's there for them any time. It's a celebrated and wonderful aspect of who we are as a family. It's a part of all of us.

My kids are all younger than your daughter. But I think if I were in your shoes, I would just mention it. Use a prop like a photo and say "hey, I just found this photo of us on your adoption day!". And then I'd kind of let it go for a day. Then mention something else. Just start bringing it up here and there. She's not going to understand "adoption" at first. I would just get her used to hearing about it. And then sit her down for a more complete version of the story. If you treat it as something that's ok to just bring up any old time, I would think she'd feel ok in doing that too. So she can then start to ask questions when she has them. Best of luck!!