[dstoeck]

It's good that you are going to be open with your child, but a little bit of a shame that you have not made her story a part of her life until now. But you are loving parents and you made a decision that you felt was right...so considering this I have the following recommendation:

Find an opportune time to sit with your child with photos of her birth or the first time you saw her. Simply look at the photos as you would any other photos but be sure to add things like "this is when we first me you!" Something like "Your biological mommy really loved you so much. She knew that she couldn't take care of you so when she asked us to be your parents we said "yes! WE'd love to be [child's name] parents!".

just be natural. Maybe my script is not so appropriate, but basically, be open and honest as much as you can with a 4 year old. My dd asked a lot of questions at that age (she's 8 now). Although she knew that she did not come from my belly, she started asking why she didn't come from my belly. So we just added to her story with the fact that the woman that carried her in her belly wasn't living a good life and knew that she couldn't take of her very well. We made sure to let her know that the decision to not be her mommy was a very loving decision. That she loved her so much and wanted her to grow up to be such a good person that she decided to allow us to be her parents.

Good luck. I think this part is the hardest with regard to explaining adoption to our children. Now we just build on it just about every year when she asks more questions and we try our best to answer as honestly and truthfully at a level we feel she can understand and accept.