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the only reason for me continuing with the adoption and planning on signing my consent tomorrow is the fact that they have had so much money and time invested in her. Adoption is very expensive for adoptive parents, and I feel that if I changed my mind they would hate me forever, all of my family would hate me.
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If the only reason you are continuing with the adoption is because you don't want to hurt the potential aparents, you are, in my opinion, doing this for the wrong reasons. At the very least, I would postpone signing those papers. You say your whole family would hate you, but your husband would support you. You have him and your children. If the whole rest of the family goes against you, that would be a shame, but if you relinquish this child when you really don't want to, you will be facing a greater dilemma. Sure, your aunt/uncle will be disappointed and hurt, but how would they feel if they knew you really didn't want to go through with this, that you really wanted to raise your child? As for other family members, they may be upset about it, but I think in time they will deal with it, and if they cannot be supportive, then I'd write them off (but that's just how I am). The potential adoptive parents should have been prepared for the fact that an expectant mother has the right to change her mind after her baby is born. Now this child is here and YOU are the child's mother unless and until you sign away your rights. So as much as they are wanting your baby, you are not under any obligation to place her for adoption if you really don't want to. Please do not make any hasty decisions, and if you need more time, take as much time as you need.