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Originally Posted by OakShannon
I've gotten those reprimands IRL. I remember the time I used the word "minority" in an ethnic studies class in college . . . Ouch. Not a comfortable experience.
But . . . I never used that word in the same way again. It did make me think. So that moment of discomfort served a purpose. Sometimes we don't have a clue about how much we don't know until someone points it out. It doesn't feel great, especially when we know that we didn't mean to offend anyone. But if we did - there's no point in shooting the messenger.
I think it's valid to ask someone to examine seriously - if they are not yet able to recognize an offensive term - if they are really ready to be a TRA parent. Some of us didn't grow up in diverse areas and we have a lot of learning to do first. Do you live in a diverse area now? Do you have connections to the AA community now? If not, do you have plans to move? Have you thought of ways to increase the diversity of your social circle? Are you willing - as people are suggesting - to do a lot of reading and research? Those steps should come first, before the baby comes home.
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Thank you for "getting" it.