I am so sorry that you found your bmom only to learn that she has passed. Please don't think that you failed. You have found your siblings, and hopefully they will accept you as a member of their family. It would be comforting if they could provide some pictures or home movies of your bmom and tell you about her (her personality as well as her medical information).
I found out at the age of 54 that my bmom had passed more than 40 years prior. She had two older children who knew of me but did not want to look for me. They were not thrilled when I found them (they hated my bfather), but my half-sis did tell me a lot of things about her/my mom, and eventually she did send me a picture. I have a better understanding of who I am. It does hurt, though, that I never was able to meet her, but I have to believe that she is with me in spirit.
It's good to cry -- I have cried a lot too. The fact that I was adopted never upset me as much as when I finally learned the story of my birth parents -- it was all so sad. I now think about my bmom everyday; she is a big part of me, and she's the reason, of course, that I am here.
I'm sure it must have been difficult for your bmom to keep her secret all these years. As you know from reading these forums, bmoms do not forget the children they relinquish.
Hopefully you can establish some kind of relationship with your siblings and learn more about your bmom. In that respect, it is not true that "it is over". You have not failed -- you have found your family! Best of wishes to you. Hugs.
