[Singlemom619]

I knew that my son was "my" son the moment I saw him. I just felt it in my gut, and despite how strange it was to go from being a single young woman that could go out on the weekends whenever she pleased to a single mom of a 5 year old that called me "mom" - it felt so right.

I thought this was how it was for everyone. You just know.

THEN I met a parent of one of my students. One morning she and I got to talking and it came up that she adopted a baby from another country. She told me that for the first year the baby was home that she didn't bond and didn't feel anything for the baby. She said she was still in therapy (for the entire 2nd year that the little girl was here) and that she was only just then starting to feel like the child was "hers."

I didn't realize that's how it was for some people. Then, a few years later, (last year) I was talking to a friend of mine that went out of the country and met a child to adopt and then couldn't bring herself to follow through and adopt him - she was too scared.

I finally realized that this "knowing" that I felt wasn't the same for everyone.

In 2007 when my youngest was placed with his brother I felt that instant "knowing" again - this was "my" son... Even though, logically, I knew he was suppose to be a short term placement, somewhere in me I knew he was mine... And at the end of this month - nearly 2 years later - we're going to TPR.

SO - for me - I knew the moment I saw them... For others it's not the same. I did deal with some of the things you are dealing with - the stories about what life is/was like with the Bfamily, etc... And yes it bothered me - more because it wasn't the truth and lies are a HUGE trigger for me... But they don't happen too often anymore....