[smooshiemonster]

This is a very emotional topic for me but I will make every attempt to remain calm while relaying this info to you all. I am seeking help from anyone who has had to deal with social services in a situation like the one I'm about to present.

First let me explain my family situation. My parents had four natural children (my 3 siblings and me). When we became teens they decided that they would love to help children through foster care and successfully became a foster come through the county. Eventually after a few years of fostering my parents adopted my brother Matthew and a sibling group that we had been fostering. I should mention that for the adopted children my parents receive what is called AAP funding from the state every month to help pay for their living expenses etc. and they are on state supported medical care (medi-cal) Everything went smoothly for many years, sure there were developmental delays and behavior issues but our family took those in stride. Let me jump ahead now about 10 years. Matthew has been diagnosed with a variety of mental health issues including Schizophrenia and hyperactivity. He has beeen expelled from school and has already been in trouble with the local police for vandalism and other petty crime. My parents end up divorcing and Matthew stays with my father. He throws a lit firecracker at my sister on purpose on the 4th of July. A week before christmas he starts the house on fire and we spend christmas in a hotel room while repairs are being made. Matthew continues to get into trouble and refuses to conform to any rules despite the cocktail of drugs and therapy he has been put on. My father feels overwhelmed and so my mother agrees to take Matthew. My mother has matthew for a couple years dealing with the same behavior and medication/therapy with no results. Matthew is 14 years old and continues to get into trouble with the law including breaking an entry. My adopted sister is talking to my mom one night and reveals that Matthew has been coming in her room at night and attempting to molest her!! My mother is shocked and angry and doesn't know what to do. She calls social services for help and they basically tell her that they can't do anything unless he hurts somebody. So my mom gets irate and tells them that she wants him OUT of the house and she refuses to have a sexual predator living in her home with her daughters. FINALLY the social services take Matthew on a temporary basis into a group home setting with the intention of re-uniting him with my mother. At this point my mother is not interested in reunification because she will never feel safe having Matthew in her home with my other adopted siblings. Matthew is put into a foster home who is looking to adopt. He spends a few months there and the foster parents express a desire to adopt him!! This was a god send for my mom. My mom goes to court as instructed and surrenders her parental rights for Matthew so that he is able to be adopted. The adoption falls through because Matthew was involved with the Sodomy/ molestation of another foster child in their home. Matthew ends up back in a group home setting where he remains today. Ok now that I have summarized the hell that we have been through with Matthew I can tell you the real meat of my problem.

My mother is working and has 3 of my adopted siblings. She is no longer receiving AAP for Matthew because she surrendered her parental rights. The state sends her a letter saying they are giong to garnish her wages for CHILD SUPPORT!! They also said she is required to put Matthew on her medical coverage. My mom told them that she is barely making ends meet as it is and cannot afford to pay for medical coverage and child support ( my adopted siblings were never on medical coverage from my parents they have always been on state coverage but for some reason now that my mother surrendered her rights she is responsible to provide this???) The social worker said that she is required by law to provide this even if it's up to 50 percent of her income!! My mom cannot survive with this so she is quitting her job and moving in with family with my other adopted siblings. That is her only option at this point. This is so backwards... they are asking my mom to pay child support for a child that she has never supported the state has always payed AAP to support matthew and the state has always had him on state supported medical care. I just don't understand how the state can do this to my mother for trying to help a child that ended up being sociopathic and a sexual predator. They treat her like she is a birth parent that is dumping a child on the state but that is far from the truth. It is sooo frustrating and overwhelming and is ruining my mothers life. Can anybody help or does anybody have info about a similar situation???? I don't know what to do. I will tell you this , no one in my family will EVER consider fos-adopt again and anyone I talk to about foster care I warn them. It is the biggest mistake my family has ever made and has caused many nervous break downs and jaded some of the kindest people I know in this world.

Thanks for listening.

Suzanne