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Originally Posted by Aussie-Chris
However good your intentions are Beth, your sympathy ought to be based on things you can really understand. I feel sad for some of the people on here too, but unless I have had the same experience as them I wouldn't dare post replys pretending to know what they are going through.
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Aussie, honey, I do have sympathy for anyone who has had a hard time of things, even if I haven't experienced it myself. I know what it is like to loose a loved one, to feel pain, to have sad, angry, or even happy feelings.
I am not afraid to offer those that speak up some type of comfort and support, and if they don't like my style, they are certainly free to tell me to STFU and of course I would.
You can tell me that I OUGHT not to share my sympathy with others in a public support forum, and that is fine
(can you see how this is exactly like telling me I OUGHT to be grateful for being adopted? Or I ought to feel or behave like you think I should, not like I do?)
But you really can't tell me what I should feel, or ought to do.
Sure you can tell me, but
That's my choice, not yours.
I quit pretending anything years ago.
You are right I do not know what it is like to be beaten by your biological or step father every other day.
But I do know what it is like to have my *** beat every friggin day in hopes that I would die, by someone who was supposed to love me and take care of me.
I do not know what it feels like to wish my mother had made the right choice and aborted me due to incest.
But I do know what it feels like to wish my mother had made the right choice and aborted me.
I will always speak up when I hear this, I have deep personal experiences that have shown me what the next step from that feeling CAN be.
I have lost eight adoptee friends to suicide, eight close up personal friends, at all different ages. This was one of the last thoughts they all shared with me, two of them had it in their note, and stated in their note that they were taking things into their own hands by doing what their mother should have done in the first place. I have considered it myself in the past, until I saw how things turned out for my friends, now I am furious at them all, and will probably never be able to forgive or have sympathy for any of them.
I will take my chances of sounding stupid in this case or even pissing people off, it is a huge trigger for me. I don't want to ever see it happen again to anyone. You can only share sympathy and comfort with people that are living. So now maybe you can understand or can sympathize with why I said what I did.
Nobody is exactly the same or has the exact same feelings even in an exact same situation.
Doesn't mean we can't share similar feelings and attempt to comfort/support each other, none of us are perfect, and we are all in different places in our journey, isn't that why most of us are here?
Why are you really upset with me Aussie?