[BethVA62]

"Although empathy and sympathy are often used interchangeably, a subtle variation in ordinary usage can be detected. To empathize is to respond to another's perceived emotional state by experiencing feelings of a similar sort.[2]
Sympathy not only includes empathizing (but not always), but also entails having a positive regard or a non- fleeting concern for the other person."

Aussie-Chris I'm kinda confused, and am more than willing to further discuss in peace, casue maybe I missed something or it has just gone over my head, or maybe it's the language, since we all do speak a different one. (thanks for reminding me of that one Kathy) But I can tell what I said has upset you some.

I wasn't aware that I had told anyone, Cetalley in particular, that I knew exactley how she feels, or told anyone how I think they should feel.

Because I used the word sympathy?

Or did the word "honey" cause the patronizing feeling? (**** this habitual southern language!)

I am honestly concerned with cetalley, I can see by her posts insisting on how I/we should feel, the feeling of gratitude I should have, and the anger shared becasue I/we do not feel the way she might like us to... or especially her own sons to feel.... Her requests of the adoptees on this thread are much deeper than caring about how we, or I myself actually feel. I was attempting to help her see that in a couple of ways - for her sake, so she can see why she is having such an angry frustrated reaction to the feelings many of us have expressed here.
I was attempting to help, not harm.
doesn't seem to have worked so well tho :-/
Beth