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Thanks everyone for the replies. You've given me some things to think about as well as the support and encouragement I was needing. When we got our referral, it was just a picture and "age 3". Now we have the actual date of birth and the child is only 6 days older than our son! So, rather than adopting out of birth order, this is more an issue of "artificial twinning". I certainly wasn't expecting this, and would prefer that they not be competitive and in the same grade, but it looks like that would likely be the case in this situation. I do think the safety issue would be less of a concern though since this child is really not older than the children already in our home. We would just have to be careful to treat them as individuals. Due to the fact that they will be different races, and the "new" child will have some catching up to do with language and learning the house rules, I think that at first it will not really be like twins at all. As in most situations, being aware of potential problems and doing your best to avoid or deal with them is key. I don't want to pretend this won't be without challenges, but I am excited about it and think we can do it!
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