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We have one picture of Camden and his birthfather framed in his room from when he was 1st born. We also have pictures from his birthfather and birth brother in an album upstairs of his birth. His birthmom chose to not have her picture taken before, during or after his birth. She chose to not see him. Rather she does see plenty of pictures of him that we mail and on my blog. I am hoping in a month or so she will make the move to come see him. He is just 3 months so I know wounds are fresh for her.
As for those people who have family members who are uncomfy with OA and Birth parents I wrote this on my blog so family and friends could BETTER understand our position on open adoption:
Going to back track a little and update all of you on the adoption stuff. We believe we have found a birth mom. She is due in early October. Honestly she seems wonderful. The baby's father does too. They both seem to be genuinely caring people and very laid back. A lot of you know how I feel about adoption and if you don't here it is :" I truly believe parents who are able to place their child into another home are some of the most selfLESS people and it is such a gift, not just anyone can or will do this. It truly does show how much they love their child. Floyd and I are so happy and we are praying within every inch of our bodies this all works out.
Floyd and I have decided to do an open-adoption, which thankfully these parents want for their child as well. Quite a few people have asked us several variations of "why" ?
These are our reasons for doing so:
*When this child looks in the mirror, we want our child to know themselves. It's hard enough to face the world when you don't know where your face came from.
* We don't want our child to have the cabbage patch mentality. The truth is, this child's life won't start the day we adopt them. Like us, their history and ours began a thousand lifetimes ago.
* We believe in a birthmother's right to choose, if she has the courage to place her child with us, she has the wisdom and right to choose her childs parents. Our childs birthmother is his first Mother.
* We wanted to do a domestic open adoption so our child could know their birthfamily. Our adopted child's birthmother/father chose not to abort them, how could we abort our childs birthmother/birthfather/siblings from our lives.
There are plenty more reasons why we want an open adoption, but these few sum it up nicely I think. While Floyd and I will be this child's parents, this child will have other parents, his first parents... and one day this child will want to know about those parents and we *want* to be able to tell him about them.
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