[sundara]

Even with an adoptive situation, we've had this issue with 3 out of our 4 kids.

Recognize that part of this is a coping mechanism - sometimes traumatized kids had to hide from their abuser, so when things get scary, that's what they do (even if scary means 'you're getting too close', 'i'm not getting my way', 'i'm mad at you' - its not always something that will make sense to those of us who haven't been abused).

Second is that sometimes this behavior was modeled by someone in their past (possibly bparents moving a lot so they did not get caught, rationalizing moving all the time to the kids as 'starting over', 'getting a clean start', etc).

Finally, it can be a test - 'if I run away, will they look for me? will they really care (especially if I've been bad, angry, moody, etc)?'

It is VERY hard not to take this personally, no matter the motivation on the part of the child.

Some of our kids truly ran away to a friend's house, biking all over town, etc. As they started to heal thru therapy, running away meant running out of the house & into the far back area of the yard, then it became just going to their rooms.

The main thing is to keep modeling & verbalizing to them that running away does not solve a problem, it increases it (police get involved, etc). Keep showing her that you still care no matter what, but her behavior needs to change from her old skills (running away) to new skills now that she is in a safer environment (talk over the issue with someone, ask you if she can start over or go think about the issue on her own, etc).