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I am trying to figure out if I keep doing foster. It has been two years since we became certified, the first so many kids I totally cared for as foster until they re-unitfied. You bond differently with each child. I loved them like my own and treated them like my own. However, Jan. 08 we got a 1 day old baby girl, whom was suppose to be adoptable, bios didnt even name her. 2 months later I handed her to grandma for a final goodbye. I just know she will have a bad life like her 3 other sisters, no one listened to me it was all about having her with family. That is not always the best for the child. It hurt me so bad, I thought it would be the end to my foster journey. However I waited a LONG 8 months and got the call to pick up my 8 week old preemie princess from the hospital. i was told that night, bios would not get her whats so ever. That her siblings were adopted already. Well what do you know Jan 6th this year I get a call that the adoptive family that has the siblings wants her. They told me this wuld be a quick adoption. i no longer will believe what I am told till I sign those final adoption papers. I can not even begin to tell you how much I hurt. It is not final, the county social worker is trying to decide what the best is for the baby. i sit here and just stare and her and hurt, I know she may be leaving. I almost feel as tho it is only time before I get that dreadful call. The social worker did tell me it was ok to take her on a family trip next week so we could have that special time with her. I said oh that means she will be leaving. She said no. She said it could go either way. Ever since the day I brought her home I felt like we waited this long cause God wanted her to be with us. I still feel that way. i know HE is in control, but I feel so out of control. i dont know if I can continue fostering if she leaves. I can not tell you the hurt I feel. I have 3 bios and a step daughter. we got into fostering to foster. I knew I always wanted a big family, my baby shop is closed due to high risk pregnancies. I hope and pray God will do what is best for her. Oh how I love her.
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