[Juliana13]

I am having a tough time, too. We have a beautiful foster daughter - 8 months old - and have only had her a few short weeks. After one day, I was totally attached. Her mom is working on a plan, and reunification is likely, although it will take 8-10 months, they say. But even if she didn't do well, there is family willing to take this baby girl, so I already know she's not mine forever.

My problem is my emotions. I know that she's going back. And I know that this is what foster care is all about. And I want her mom to get the help she needs and get her life back. But I cannot reconcile what I think, and even truly believe with what my emotions are doing. I am messed up! The life I see for this baby with her family is rough - they all have serious issues and do not know how to make good choices. That is not the life I want for her!!! I love this baby, and want good things for her. And her family is not "good things." I don't want to be judgemental, but I don't want that life for her.

Then there is that little fact that keeps rearing it's head that I have no say in that. That I do not get to decide what kind of life this baby girl gets. Her family gets to decide, as long as they get her back. I have no power to protect her from it. And that is very hard for me. Somebody help me through this!